The Greatest and Strongest
by SuperAlex64
Summary: Parody of the 1997 Disney film. Growing up wasn't easy for young Johan, not only was he a total klutz, he had superhuman strength. The destruction of a local market was the final straw so he leaves home and along the way, he meets interesting characters, like the lovely Savina.
1. Our Story

**Well**,** um... hello. This is my first parody of any thing so i went with my third favorite Disney movie. Why, I don't know.**

**So if** **anyones wondering why Johan's the lead. Well, I got three good reasons:**

**#1: he's hot.**

**#2: He's hot!**

**#3: HE'S HOT!**

**plus I like the idea of Johan being adorkable. well, I actually I love it! that's why his middle name is Shirley. Thanks, TV Tropes and guy who made Happy Days and its spin-offs.**

**Most of these characters are Peyo's except for a few OCs.**

**Story beings to Disney. Duh! I already said that! **

**Anyways, on with the show.**

**Oh before I forget, The King's called Rex.**

* * *

In a museum, surrounded by a dusty and somewhat busted up Greek statues, Narrator Smurf narrates.

"Long ago in the far away of Ancient Greece, there was a smurfy age of powerful gods and smurfy heroes. And the greatest and strongest of all these heroes is the smurfy Johan. But what is the measure of a true hero? that is what our story-"

On an old Greek vase, five young girls came to life, starting with the short, blonde in a big ponytail who went by the name Michaela.

"Will you listen to him. He's making the story sound some Greek tragedy."

Another one, a red headed Sassette, was like,"Lighten up, dude!"

Thats when the leader, Verdi, said to Narrator,"We'll take it from here, darling."

Narrator said," You go, girl," before leaving.

The muses then sway their hips to the music.

Verdi then says,"We are the muses, goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes."

Sassette then said,"Heroes like Johan," blushing and needing to fan herself.

"Girl, you mean Jo-HUNK," said Michaela, sliding down to a painting of Johan. "I'd like to make some sweet music-"

Verdi, annoyed, reminded her,"Our story actuially begins long before Johan. Many eons ago."

**_Back when the world was new_**

**_The planet Earth was down on its luck_**

**_And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok_**

It was a nasty place

There was a mess wherever you stepped

_Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept_

_And then along came Rex_

_He hurled his thunderbolt_

_He zapped_

_Locked those suckers in a vault_

_They're trapped_

_And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks_

_And that's the gospel truth_

_The guy was too type A to just relax_

_And that's the world's first dish_

_Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth_

_Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble_

_That's the gospel truth_

_On Mt. Olympus life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth_

_Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble_

_That's the gospel truth_

The setting changed from a museum after hours to Ancient Greece. The muses harmonize as the golden gates of Olympus opened revealing a party in a kingdom on the clouds on the mountain top. The gods are celebrating Rex and Jannie's first child, a baby boy. Jannie, in her new, sparklily outfit, holdingher little, golden bundle of joy and walking toward a craidle made of clouds. The baby grabbed his mother's tiara off her head but she laughed.

"Johan, behave yourself."

then Rex walked up to them, saying,"Look at this. Look how cute he is." Johan was one of the cutest godling babies on Olympus with his jet black hair contrasting with his golden glow. Rex tried making Baby johan laugh, which he did. And the baby gripped his father's finger and lifted him up.

"he's strong like his dad."

Thats when one of the younger godlings flew by, taking some flowers from a vase. and he's flying toward Jannie and Rex but the place crowded.

"Excuse me! Pardon me! One side, Gutsy!"

When he flew by Smurfette, goddess of love, it causes a little Marilyn monroe moment. Then he finally reached Jannie and handed the flowers.

"Why, Peewit. they're lovely."

"Yeah...I had Harmony do the arrangement. Isn't that...interesting." Then he flew to Rex saying,"Great party. I've haven't seen this much love in a room since Vanity discovered himself."

He points at the god who trying to kiss his reflection.

Then Johan reaches for a lightningbolt in his dad's pocket. He got one and was about to put it in his mouth when Jannie saw.

"Dear, keep those away from the baby."

"Ah, he won't hurt himself. Let the kid have a lttle fun."

Johan put in his mouth. Then he got electruted.** (Not everyone can spell!) **He looked at it for a second then threw it away, freaking out the gods. One of the young goddesses, Jessica grabbed Vanity's mirror and used like a shelid. The lightning ended up hitting a column that fixed itself. Magic.

Rex laughed as he said,"On behalf of my son, I want to thank you all for your wonderful gifts."

Most of the 'gifts' were _the _most fancy, shiny, expensive, and most unsafe for a newborn baby. So Jannie concerned, asked,"What about our gift, dear,"hoping that Rex won't be cheap this time.

So he twists random bits of cloud together, making a horselike thing, which confuses the baby. But when Rex shows him his new toy, Baby Johan loves it. Probably because it's nice and fluffy. Then it turned into a real horse... with wings.

"His name is Bayard and he's all yours, son." said Rex.

Johan was so happy that he head-butted his pegasus, then the pegasus licked him, which upset the baby until they snuggled. Those gods can't handle such cuteness.

Jannie then handed Rex the baby, saying ,"Mind his head."

"He's so tiny," Rex says as he lifts up and Baby Johan tries to bite his medallion then yawns. "My boy. My little Johan." Rex then tucks him in and kisses him on the cheek.

Suddenly the party atmosphere was ruined.

"How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?"

It was Gargamel, lord of the dead, who crashed the party. And was laughing at his own joke while the gods were thinking 'What the Hades is that guy doing here'. But here he was actually talking to them.

"So is this an audience or a mosaic? Hey, how you doin'? Lookin' good. Nice dress."

Rex then gives Gargamel one of his famous power hugs. Then he says, "So Gargamel, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?"

"Well, they're just fine, you know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?" Gargamel says before noticing Johan, "Ah! There's the little sunspot, little smootchie. And here is a sucker for the little sucker, eh?" He creates a pacifier out of smoke and maybe Johan noticed something evil about it because when he tried shoving the pacifier into his mouth, Johan tightly grips Gargamel's finger. The lord of the dead could barely get the baby to let go.

"Sheesh! uh, powerful little tyke."

"Come on, Gargamel, don't be such a stiff, join the celebration!" Rex said to Gargamel.

"Hey, love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regrettably have a full-time gig You know, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Rex, So.. can't. Love to, but can't."

"You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death... Hah! work yourself to death!" Everyone else starting laughing. "Oh, I'd kill myself."

Gargamel angrily storms out, saying, "If only, if only…"

* * *

**So this is the end of chapter one.**

**Muses potrayed by Verdi, Michaela, Sassette, Gloria and Sabrina**

**gods: Johan, the king(called Rex here), Smurfette, Gutsy, Peewit, jannie, Jessica (last two are OCs), Vanity, Gargamel**

**So flowerpower71 convinced me to use Gargamel. I guess it works. I like the idea now.**

**I meant to post this last Saturday but my laptop (i have a laptop now.) was being an idiot so I didn't work this thing til Sunday and I finally finshed this. Well, what do you think?**

**I almost forgot bold is Verdi, underline is Michaela and everything afterwords is everybody. Sorry for the laziness,**


	2. Gargamel has Johan mortaled

**Chapter 1 seemed to be doing well so heres Chapter 2.**

**Minor casting change:**

**Oregenaly, Gerard and Mother Nature were gonna be the mortal parents but no. The parts of -Um, what are the names of that farmer and wife?**

**Random Disney Fan: Amphytryon and Alcmene!**

**Me:Oh, right. Well, they will now be played by Patrick and Grace Winslow. Congrats, you two.**

**Okay, you know the drill, i own nothing except for the OCs.**

**BTW the cat talks.**

* * *

"If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up it's Hades," said Verdi.

"Cause he had an evil plan," explained Sassette.

He ran the Underworld

But thought the dead were dull and uncouth

He was as mean as he was ruthless

And that's the gospel truth

He had a plan to shake things up

And that's the gospel truth

Gargamel got off the boat and called his minions.

"Scruple!"

"Coming, your most lugubriousness." says the boy demon before tripping and rolling down the stairs.

"Azrael!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can handle it," shouts Azrael as he runs down the stairs, but trips over Scruple, falls over, and claws him.

Gargamel rolls him eyes as the two demons say,"Scruple and Azrael! Reporting for duty!"

"Fine, fine, fine. Just let me know the instant the Fates arrive."

"Oh, they're here," said Azrael.

"What? They're here and you didnt tell me!" shouted Gargamel, furious.

"We are worms! Worthless worms."

"Memo to me, memo to me, maime you after my meeting."

Hogatha says,"Darling, hold that mortals thread of life good and tight," as she cut the thread. A woman's scream was heard.

"Incoming!" shouted Dame Barbara.

The Fates laughed as a woman's soul came flying into a tunnel. The sign now says "Over 5000000001 served."

Gargamel says,"Ladies! hah! I am so sorry that I'm…" but got cut off.

"Late," finish the Fates.

"We knew you would be," said Chlorhydris.

"We know everything,"said Dame Barbara as they passed the eye around.

"Past." said Chlorhydris.

"Present." said Dame Barbara.

"And future," finished Hogatha before she turning to Azrael, saying, "Television - it's gonna be huge."

"Great. Great. Anyway, see, Ladies, I was at this party, and I lost track of…" Gargamel tried again.

"We know!" the Fates shout at him.

"I know! you know. So, here's the deal. Rex, Mr High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off my cloud," now he has…"

"A bouncing baby brat." finished the Fates before Chlorhydris shouts, "We know!"

"I know!" Shouts Gargamel, "you know. I know. I got it. I got the concept, so let me just ask: Is this kid gonna mess up my hostile takeover big, or what? What do you think?"

"Um…" began Dame Barbara.

Chlorhydris reminds her with, "Oh no, you don't. We are not supposed to reveal the future,"

"Oh wait, I'm sorry. Time out. Can I? Can I ask you a question, by the way? Are you," Gargamel says flirting with Dame Barbara.

**Um, ew.**

"Did you cut your hair of something? You look fabulous." Dame Barbara giggles. "I mean, you look like a fate worse then death." She giggles some more before Chlorhydris smacks her upside the head, the eye they have to share falls out and lands in Azrael's hands.

"Oh, gross," Azrael shouted.

"Yech! It's blinkin'," Scruple shouts with disgust as he kicks it into Gargamel's hand.

"Ladies, please, my fate..." Gargamel says as he puts the eye in Dame Barbara's hand,"Is in your lovely hands," flirting some more.

**Yuck!**

"Oh, yeah."

All right," Chlorhdris gives in. So the eye raises in the air, revealing images of the future.

"In 18 years precisely, the planets will align ever so nicely," begins Dame Barbara.

"Ay, verse!. Oy," Gargamel complains.

"The time to act will be at hand, unleash the Titans, your monstrous band," continues Chlorhydris.

"Mm-hmm, good, good," says Gargamel.

"Then the once-proud Rex will finally fall, And you, Gargamel, will rule all!"

"Yes! Gargamel rules!"

"A word of caution to this tale," adds Hogatha.

"Excuse me?"

"Should Johan fight, you will fail."

The Fates disappear leaving Gargamel with his rage.

"What? Okay, fine, fine, I'm cool, I'm fine."

A short, while later, he askes,"Scruple? Azrael? I got a littie riddle for ya. How do you kill a god?"

I...do not know," answered Scruple.

"You can't. They're immortal," answered Azrael.

Gargamel takes a vile filled with some purple poison saying,"Bingo! They're immortal! So first, you got to turn the little sunspot...mortal."

That night, Scruple and Azrael sneak into Baby Johan's room but Rex and Jannie woke up when they kept making noises.

"Huh?"

"What is it?"

It finally dawned on them.

"The baby!"

So they ran to Johan's room but Bayard was the only one there.

"Johan! Oh!" cried Jannie.

"No!" screams rex as his power over thunder and lightning is used, freaking Azrael out.

"Now we did it! Rex is gonna use us for target practice!"

"Just hold on to the kid, Azrael!" shouted Scruple.

Then they crash land, making the baby cry, which freaks Azrael more.

"Lets just kill the kid and get it over with, okay?"

Scruple then sticked the poison in Johan's mouth, "Here you go, kid, a little grecian formula."

As Johan drank the poison, his glow was dimming.

"Look at that!...He's changing," said Azrael, "Can we do it now?"

Scruple answered,"No, no, no, he has to drink the whole potion. Every last drop."

Suddenly a man askes, "Who is there?" freaking the demons out, stopping Johan from drinking the last drop.

A man and his wife walk over only to see a crying baby. The wife rushes over to comfort him.

"Oh, the poor thing. Don't cry."

The man looks around, asking,"Is anybody there?"

Azrael askes,"Now?"

"Now." answers Scruple, transforming into snakes.

"He must've been abandoned," said the man.

The wife, Grace said, wide-eyed,"Patrick, for so many years, we prayed to gods to bless with a child. Perhaps they answered our prayers."

Patrick said,"Must've have," then he took a look at the medal around the baby's neck,"Johan?"

then they turn around, facing Scruple and Azrael as snakes. They scared Grace so much that she dropped Johan. He then grabbed the snakes by the thoat, smashs them on the ground a bunch of times, ties them in a knot and swings them around and around and around. Then he throws them away, freaking Patrick and Grace out. But Johan giggled and looked just too gosh darn cute to give up.

Meanwhile, Azrael and Scruple are still together. Even when they turn back to normal.

"Help, help, help. Gargamel is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened."

Scruple said,"You mean "if" he finds out."

"Of course, he's gonna- if, if is good," said Azrael.

Back in the museum, Verdi said, "It was tragic. Rex led all the gods on a frantic search."

Sassette adds,"By the time they found the baby, it was too late."

Gloria sings:

Young John was mortal now  
But since he did not drink the last drop  
He still retained his godlike strength  
So thank his lucky star

But Rex and Jannie wept  
Because their son could never come home  
They'd have to watch their precious baby  
Grow up from afar

Though Gargamel's horrid plan  
Was hatched before John cut his first tooth  
The boy grew stronger ev'ry day and  
That's the gospel truth

* * *

**Chapter 2! Yeah!**

**Anyone else think Dame Barbara's a little evil.**

**Well, back to Nostalgia Critic!**

**Can't wait for the next chapter. Goodnight.**

**Note: This is the first time since Road to Stardom, Johan's been called John.**


	3. I am a Freak!

**Chapter 3, i dont why but I been pretty excited about this chapter. Maybe because, Johnny's in this chapter. And Peter's here too. Their acting debut! Yeah!**

**Poor Johan! He has to destroy a marketplace! Part of me wants to be sorry for him but another part of me wants to post a video of it on YouTube. Who's with me?**

**Johnny B. Goode and Peter Johnson are the only things I own.**

**Story belongs to Disney and only Disney because the Greeks hated it. But we don't seem to care. Look it up, its true.**

**Other characters belong to Peyo.**

**Note: I have no idea who Patrick and Grace belong to.**

* * *

16 years later, a skinny Johan is pulling his dad's cart to the local marketplace. And the ride was kinda scary for Patrick and his goat, Biquette. It was easy to forget that Johan was so strong that he can run superfast.

"Johan! Slow down!" shouted his father.

But he didn't, he was just too excited. They were headed for the local marketplace. When they got through the gates, the hay knocked some workers who on top of the gate.

Johan says,"Oops. S-s-s-sorry, guys."

One worker shouted,"Hey, watch where your going!"

Another complains,"Sunday driver."

When Johan stopped in in the middle of the place and ended up buring himself.

When Patrick got off, he said,"Thanks, son. When old Biquette twisted her ankle back there, I thought we were done for."

"No problem, Pop." said Johan before lifting the hay with one arm. But Patrick stopped him.

"Don't-don't-don't unload just yet. First I have to finagle with Bombast."

"Okay," said Johan, dropping the hay causing Biquette to fly up in the air.

"Oops, sorry, Biquette."

Patrick then tells him,"Now Johan, this time, please just-"

Johan catches Biquette as he says,"I know, I know. Stay by the cart."

Patrick responded,"That's my boy," before leaving. He is very aware of his son's reputation.

Johan stays put until a discus lands in front of him. He picked it up as a small group of kids run toward it. One of the kids being a young local by the name by Johnny.

He shouts,"Yo, give it here!" He's clearly not happy about Johan getting it first. To honest, he doesn't like Johan. He even hates the fact that they look alike even though, Johnny's hair is longer and messer and Johan has blue eyes instead of Johnny's brown. He might even be a little afraid of him, like most of the town.

Johan asked him,"Hey, you need an extra guy?"

This is what Johnny and his friends were afraid of but Johnny can think of something. So he says,"Uh...sorry, John. We already got...five and we do want to keep it an even number." Okay, it wasn't his best but it was enough.

"Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an even-"

Johnny stood there listening, thinking,'screw this!' So he quickly snatchs the discus and before Johan can finsh, he says,"See ya, John."

And with that, the kids run away. Johnny's best friend, Peter shouts,"What a geek!"

Lori, the only girl in the group shouts,"Ha, more like Destructo Boy!"

And the youngest boy, Gerard says,"Maybe we should call him, Jerkan."

The kids start laughing as Johan sadly looks on at his ex-friends. He just started to walk back to the cart when a kid shouts,"Hey, heads up!"

Johan looks up to see the discus flying above his head. So before anyone can complain, he goes on after it.

"I got it!"

He jumps high to catch it, and ends up slamming himself on to a pillar.

Before he did, Johnny shouted,"No!", and Lori shouted,"Stop!"

But, Johan didn't and the pillar started to tip. He tried to stop it, only to causing more destruction. The pillars were falling like dominos. People stared for like a second before running away. Johnny had to pick up a small girl who just standing there. Johan was running around, trying to stop the marketplace from going down.

Patrick sees Johan and says,"Son."

"Hang on, Pop. Be right back," Johan says, quickly.

Not long after, Johan trips and breaks some pottery. By then, the marketplace was in ruins. Johan spots the discus and tries to give it back to Johnny.

"Nice catch, Jerk-han," Johnny says, pissed. He takes his discus and smacks Peter in the back of the head and says,"Way to go, Petey." Nobody noticed. After that, he and Peter left.

Patrick goes up to Johan, saying,"Son," as if he couldn't believe Johan just did that.

That's when Balthazar, the owner of the marketplace showed up and boy, was he pissed.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, PATRICK!"

"That boy is menence!" shouted a woman.

Lori then shouted,"Mother!"

Bombast shouts,"He's too dangerous to be around _normal_ people!"

Patrick tried explain,"He didn't mean any harm. He's just a kid, He-he just...can't control his strength."

But Balthazar shouted,"I'm warning you! You keep that-that-that...freak _away_ from here!"

The crowd argeed with Balthazar and started to leave.

Gerard shouted,"Yeah, freak! Go away!"

"Shut up," whispered Lori.

"But he is! I still can't believe you guys used to be friends with him!"

Lori then shouted,"Shut the Hades up, Gerard!" Then she stomped off.

A few hours later, Johan and Patrick were at a grassy hillside. Patrick was doing his best just to console Johan.

"Son, you shouldn't let those things they said back there get to you."

But Johan shouts,"But Pop, they're right! I-i am a freak! I try to fit in, I really do. I just can't." Then he admits to something he's never told anyone.

"Sometimes, I feel like I really don't belong here. Like, I'm supposed to be somewhere else."

Patrick goes up him to say,"Johan, son-"

Johan says,"I know it does make any sense," before walking away, leaving Patrick alone.

Johan goes off to his old favorite spot where he used to impress kids with his skill at skipping stones, long before he scared them away.

_I have often dreamed  
Of a far off place  
Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me  
And the crowds will cheer  
When they see my face  
And a voice keeps saying  
This is where I'm meant to be_

Johan started wandering around for hours.

_I will find my way_  
_I can go the distance_  
_I'll be there some day_  
_If I can be strong_  
_I know every mile will be worth my while_  
_I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong_

When he finally came home, my parents were waiting outside for him.

Patrick says,"Johan, there's something your mother and have been meaning to tell you." They go inside and tell Johan everything.

"But if you found me, then where I did I come from? Why was I left here?" Johan asked.

Grace explained, unwrapping Johan's medal from when he was a baby,"This... was around your neck when we found you."

Johan looked at it as Grace explained some more.

"It's the symbol of the gods."

That Johan got real excited.

"This is it! Don't you see? Maybe, they have the answers! I'll go to the temple of Rex and-" He turns to his parents. "Ma, Pop, you're the greatest parents anyone could ever have but..., I gotta know." He then looks out the window.

* * *

**Chapter 3, I bet you noticed I changed somethings:**

**the pottery salesman got replaced with Balthazar, who apparently owns the place**

**Johnny and his group are slightly more important than in the movie**

**Thats basically it.**

**As for Gerard, I just threw in. I wanted to be here with those kids.**

**Since Johnny has never appeared outside of "Road to Stardom" before, I was free to do whatever I want with him.**

**Lori is basically Gloria. Since Gloria was a Muse, I made up a girl with a her nickname. **

**The idea of using Balthazar came from a review I made for flowerpower71. She contributed a little bit to this chapter.**

**While I was writing this, that song kept getting in my head. That's how you know it's good. LOL!**

**I might bring Johnny and his friends back for the ending but I'll worry that later.**

**Well, on to the next chapter!**


	4. A God!

**Chapter 4! Johan's gonna see his daddy, Johan's gonna see his daddy! And he doesn't even know! Chaaaptttttter 4!**

**Okay, story belongs to Disney.**

**Characters belongs to Peyo**

**Still don't who owns Grace and Patrick Winslow!**

**Shortest intro ever!**

* * *

The next morning, Johan was ready to go. He says goodbye to his parents then leaves. So Johan walks to the temple out Rex...for a week. Optimistic, despite bad weather, he starts to sing.

_I am on my way  
__I can go the distance  
I dont care how far  
Somehow I'll be strong  
I know every mile  
Will be worth my while  
I would go most anywhere to find where I belong_

So he finally gets to the temple and prays:

"Oh, mighty Rex, hear me and answer my prayer. I need to know. Who am I? Where do I belong?"

Lightning flashed and made the statue of Rex come to life. Johan look up with amazement.

Then the statue says, looking at Johan,"My boy. My little Johan." Then, he reached down to the boy.

Johan stared at the live statue for a second, then runs away, screaming like a girl. But Rex caught him, rather easily but Johan kept trying to escape his grasp.

Then Rex said,"Hey, hey, hey, hold on kiddo! What's your hurry? After all these years is this a kind of hello to give your father?"

Johan stopped struggling and asks, "F-father?"

Rex held Johan up as he said,"Didn't know you had a famous father, did you?" Then he shouted,"SURPRISE!" so loud that it blew Johan's hair back, revealing his ears. Then Rex looked at his son closely and said,"Look how you grown. Why, you have your mother's beautiful eyes," which embarrassed Johan a bit, but it was true, he and Jannie did have the same blue eyes. Then he adds,"And my strong chin," laughing.

Johan had to say,"I-I don't understand, if you're my father, that would make me-"

"A god," finshed the statue.

"A god," said Johan, quietly, then, louder,"A god!" He really needed to sit down for that.

"Hey, you wanted answers and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth."

Johan then asks,"Then why did you leave me on Earth? Didn't you want me?"

Rex, of course, was sadded by this.

"Of course, we did. Your mother and I loved you with all hearts but someone stole you from us and turned you mortal and only gods can live on Mount Olympus."

Johan sadly asks,"Then you can't do a thing?"

Rex says,"I can't, Johan. But you can!"

This excites Johan. He asks,"R-really? W-what? I'll do anything!"

"Johan, if you can prove yourself a true hero, your godhood will restored."

"A true hero! Great!" Johan stopped, thinking. "Uh...exactly how do you become a true hero?"

"First, you seek out Heftoctetes Smurf, the trainer of heroes," answered Rex.

Johan excitedly said to himself,"Seek out Heftoctetes Smurf. Right, I'll-" Perhaps, he was a little too excited because, he walked off his dad's statue's hand forgetting that he's high up in the air.

But, Rex caught him and set him down, saying,"Hold your horses, which reminds me."

He then whistled and suddenly, a white pegasus flew in toward Johan.

Rex then said,"You probably don't remember Bayard but, you two go way back, son!"

Bayard then started sniffing Johan, then suddenly he head-butted him, almost knocking Johan out and finally, Bayard licked him.

And then Johan remembered, saying,"Oh, Bayard!" hugging him.

Rex commented,"He's a magnificent horse...with the brain of a bird."

Johan got on Bayard and shouted,"I find Heftoctetes and become a true hero!"

Rex then shouted,"That's the spirit!"

Johan then said,"I won't let you down, father!" before flying into the night.

Rex quiet said,"Good luck, son," watching them.

Johan then sang:

_I will beat the odds  
I can go the distance  
I will face the world  
Fearless, proud and strong  
I will please the gods  
I can go the distance  
Till I find my hero's welcome  
Right where I belong_

* * *

**Suddenly, being a freak is FREAKIN' awesome!**

**This chapter was short, I don't think I have to explain anything, so...SEE YA!**

**And no, I'm not watching Nostalgia Critic...right now!**

**Anywayz, BYE!**


	5. Two Words

**Hey, hey, hey! It's chapter 5! And you know what means:**

**Johan's gonna meet Hefty!**

**So...Disney owns the story, if I owned this, there would be more merchandise, but I don't.**

**Johan, Bayard and Hefty belong to Peyo, if I own them, you'd see _a lot _more Johan and Peewit stuff, but I don't.**

**Now, chapter 5. Enjoy.**

* * *

So long time after they left the temple, Johan and Bayard landed on an island mostly covered in fog. It had a bit of an unsettling atmosphere. Johan didn't like it.

"You sure this is the right place?" he asked the pegasus. It nodded yes so they walked around when suddenly, they heard laughter so they followed it. It was nymphs bathing in the stream. Johan just had to check them out when he saw something the the bush. So he decided to pick it up.

**Yeah, real genius, Johan. Sorry. Back to the story.**

"What's the matter, little guy? You stuck?"**  
**

So Johan takes the thing out out of the bushes to find that it isn't normal-looking, even by his standards. It was small, blue, had heart tattoos, and was pissed.

The thing shouted,"Whoa, hey! Butt out, buddy!"

That freaked Johan so much that he dropped him, causing the nymphs to notice the dudes. He then ran out of the bush, shouting,"Girls!", freaking the nymphs out. As they're being chased, the anthousai turned into flowers and the dryad that the thing managed to get near turned into a tree.

He then said,"Nymphs! They keep their smurfs off me!" The dryad then slapped him so hard that he went flying into Johan. As he rubbed his bruise, he caugh Johan staring at him.

"What? You never seen a smurf before?"

Johan then said,"Uhhhh... no. Can you help us? We're looking for someone called Heftoctetes Smurf."

The little blue person casually said,"Call me Hefty." This excited Johan.

Johan then shouted,"Hefty!", shaking his hand really fast. Then he says,"Boy, am I glad to see you! I'm Johan and this is Bayard!" The horse then licked Hefty, much to disgust.

"Animals...unsmurfy!"

Johan ignored that, saying,"I really need your help! I need to become a hero! A true hero!"

Hefty then responded,"Sorry, kid. Can't help ya."

"Wait! Sorry, why not?"

Hefty then said,"Two words: I am retired!"

Johan tried again saying,"Look, I gotta do this. Haven't you had a dream, something you wanted so badly that you'd do anything?"

Hefty then sighed and said,"Kid, come inside. I want to smurf you something."

So Johan followed Hefty into his house, Bayard couldn't come because he can't though the door. As for Johan, when he got in, he hit himself on the head on a log tied the ceiling.

"Watch it! That was the smurf of the Argo!" shouts Hefty.

Johan, starstruck, asked,"_The _Argo?"

Hefty then said,"Yeah! Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Michael Bell?" Then, he added,"Yeah, I smurfed all those would be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus, a lot of 'yeuseus.' And every single one of those smurfs smurfed me down. Flatter then a discus. No one of them could smurf the distance." Then Hefty walked towards a large statue of a hero. "And there was Achilles! Now there was a guy who had it all - the build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on comin'. But that SMURF of a heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and- kaboom! He's history." He then turn to Johan to say,"Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamt that I was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was, so great that the gods would smurf a picture of him in the stars and people would say 'that's Hefty's boy.' That's right but, eh, dreams are for rookies. A smurf can only smurf so much disappointment."

Johan then begged,"I'm different than those guys, Hefty! I can go the distance! Come on, I'll show ya!" So, he grabbed Hefty by the tail and ran out the door.

"Geez, you don't give up, do ya?"

So they got the giant discus-like thing and Johan said,"Watch this." He makes it go flying and that impressed Hefty.

"Holy Jannie...You know, maybe if I-Snap out of it! I'm too old to get smurfed up in this stuff again!

"But, if I become a true hero, I'll never be alble to rejoin my father, Rex!" Johan shouted, pointing at the sky.

Hefty then said,"Hold it. Rex is your father, right?"

"Uh-huh."

Hefty then asked, laughing,"REx? The big smurf? He's your daddy? Mr. Lightningbolts?" Then he stsrted mocking him,"Read me a book, will you, dada?...Rex! Once upon a time!"

Johan then shouted,"Its the truth!"

"Puh-leez!" responded Hefty.

_So, ya wanna be a hero, kid?_  
_Well, whoop-de-do!_  
_I have been around the smurf before with smurfheads just like you_  
_Each and ev'ryone a disappointment_  
_Pain, for which there ain't no ointment_  
_So much for smurfs_  
_Though a kid of Rex's, is asking me to jump into the smurf_  
_My answer is two words_

Rex then electrocuted Hefty.

"O.K."

Johan then asked,"You mean do it?"

"You win."

So when do we start? Can we start now?"

"Oh, smurf."

_I'd given up hope that someone would smurf along_  
_A fellow who'd ring the bell for _  
_Not the gong_  
_The kind who smurf trophies_  
_Won't settle for low fees_  
_At least semi-pro fees_  
_But no - I get the green smurf_

_I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone_  
_Content to spend smurfy days and to smurf my lawn_  
_But you need an advisor_  
_A smurf, but wiser_  
_A smurfy merchandiser_  
_And oohh! There goes my ulcer!_

_I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you_  
_Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true_  
_I've smurfed enough turkeys_  
_Who never came through_  
_You're my one last hope so you'll have to do_

"Rule number six! When rescuing a damsel, always handle with care! Rule number ninety-five, kid. Concentrate! Rule number ninety-six! Aim!"

_Demigods have smurfed the odds_  
_And ended up a mockery_  
_Don't believe the stories that you read on all the crockery_  
_To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art_  
_Like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart_  
_It takes more than sinew_  
_Comes down to what's in you_  
_You have to continue to grow_

Two years ago, you couldn't call Johan handsome and you could barely tell he's strong. But...

_Now that's more like it!_

Time for his final test.

_I'm down to one last shot and my last high note_  
_Before that unsmurfy Underworld gets my smurf_  
_My dreams are on you, kid_  
_Go smurf 'em come true_  
_Smurf that uphill slope_  
_Keep smurfing that envelope_  
_You're my one last hope and, kid, it's up to you!_

_Yeah!_

He passed.

Johan asked,"Did you see that? Next stop, Olympus!"

Hefty had to calm him down, saying,"Alright, just smurf it easy, champ."

"I am ready! I want to get off this island! I want to see battles and monsters! Rescue some damsels, you know, heroic stuff," Johan continued.

"Well..." said Hefty, thinking.

"Aw, come on, Hefty!"

"you want a road test? Smurf up, kid! We're going to Thebes!"

* * *

**Hefty met Johan! Finally!**

**I love making Mike Bell references! He's the guy that did the voices of Handy, Grouchy, Lazy and, my personal favorite, Johan. Michaela and Johnny are also references. Haven't you ever wondered what the B in Johnny B. Goode stood for?**

**I have nothing else to say, so... See ya, next chapter!**


	6. Is Wonderboy for real?

**Chapter 6! And you know what that means: Johan is gonna meet Savina... not before embarrassing himself. Gods, I love it when he's all awkward and stuff. What? At least, I gave him more character than H-B did. I'm just kidding, I know he's just acting. But, it's kinda entertaining.**

**But, ****I keep forgetting you that this is the only time Johan would have blue eyes.**

**I own nothing! Yeah!**

**Now, it's Johan vs. Bigmouth, enjoy.**

* * *

So the black haired 18-year-old and his smurf trainer got on the pegasus and flew towards Thebes. Along the way, Johan asked Hefty,"So, what's in Thebes?"

Hefty answered, "A lot of problems. It's an unsmurfy town, good place to start smurfing a rep." And when they heard a woman's shrill scream. Hefty then added,"Sounds like your basic D.I.D., Damsel in-" At that point, Johan kicked Bayard so he flying toward the ground, fast, causing Hefty to scream,"Distress!"

And they land near a river where though the bushes, they saw young woman about Johan's age with beautiful fire-red hair being chased by a ogre called Bigmouth.

"Not so fast, sweetheart," it said.

The woman then said,"Bigmouth, I swear, let me go or else-"

The ogre then commented,"I like 'em fiery!"

In the bushes, Johan starts to get angry while Hefty says"Analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without smurfing.," That's when Hefty noticed that Johan was gone. "He's losin' points for this!"

"Halt!" shouted Johan at the ogre.

But, Bigmouth, uninterested, said to him,"Step aside, Shorty."

"Pardon me, my good... uh... sir, but I'll have to ask you to release the young..."

The woman stopped him with,"Keep moving, junior."

"Lady. You- aren't a damsel in distress?" Johan asks her.

"Yeah, I'm a damsel, I'm in distress. Have a nice day."

Johan ignored her and said "Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be too close to situation to realize," he took out his sword and Bigmouth knouched Johan down. He went flying.

Hefty then shouted,"Ohhh, what are you doing? Get your sword!" So Johan started scearching in the water, finding what he thinks is a sword.

"Sword. Right, right.. Rule #15: A hero is only as good as his weapon!" Turns out, it was a fish. Bigmouth started laughing him while the lady was rolling her eyes, bored. Then Bigmouth made him go flying.

**Ever wonder if Johan started out this way?**

Hefty had to stop Bayard from helping. "Hold it! Hold on! He's got to smurf it on his own," he says to Bayard and to Johan, he says,"Come on, kid! Concentrate! Smurf your head!"

"Ohhhh..." Johan then ran at top speed and head-butted the ogre.

Hefty shout,"Alright! Not bad, kid! Not what I had in smurf but not bad."

When Johan knocked Bigmouth over, it made Bigmouth let go of the woman so when Johan turned around, he saw her soaking wet.

"Oh gee, Miss, I'm- I'm really sorry." Johan says to her and after he set her on a rock, he said,"That was dumb."

The girl got her hair out of her face and said,"Yeah."

Bigmouth tries again. Johan then says,"Excuse me." Then goes to beat him up.

Hefty then shouted,"Smurfy work! Excellente!"

She asked him,"Is Wonderboy here for real?"

"What are you smurfing about? Of course, he's real," Hefty said,before noticing her beauty, then adds,"By the smurf, I'm real, too"

She was clearly disgusted by this so she push him into the water.

Johan beats up Bigmouth and finished him off with a punch. While Bayard played around with Bigmouth's unconscious body, Johan walked towards Hefty.

'How was that, Hefty?"

Hefty turned to him and said,"Smurf in, Rookie. You can get away with mistakes like that in the minor decathlons, but these are the smurfy leagues!"

'But, I beat him. Didn't I?"

Hefty then said,"Next time don't smurf your guard down because of a pair of big, smurfy eyes! It's like I keep smurfin' ya! You got to stay focused-" Johan listened to him until he saw the woman again. That's when he stopped listening and walked up to her. Bayard tried to high-five him but Johan went straight for her. Bayard and Hefty were angry at that.

"Smurfity, smurf, smurf," Hefty cursed.

He asked her,"Are you okay, Miss-"

She cut him off by slapping him with her wet hair and finished,"Savannah. My friends call me Savina. At least, they would if I had any friends." Then she hands him one of her sandals and continues,"So, did they gave you a name along with those rippling pectorals?"

Johan tried to answer well, but he kept stammering.

"Uh, I'm-I'm um uh..."

Savina then asks him,"Are you always this articulate?" taking back her sandal.

"Johan!" He cleared his throat and said,"My name is Johan."

"Johan, huh? I think I prefer Wonderboy."

Bayard tried to cover his master's face with his wing, but it didn't work.

Johan asked,"So, how-how-how'd you get mixed up with the-"

"Bigmouthed pinhead?" she said,"You know how men are. They think 'no' means 'yes' and 'get lost' mean 'take me, I'm yours'" She got close to Johan as she said it but she noticed his confused expression and adds,"Don't worry, Shorty will explain it to ya later."

Hefty growled at that comment.

Savina then said,"Well, thanks for everything, John. It's been a real slice." Then she starts walking away but Johan doesn't want her to go.

"Wait!" he shouts, getting her to turn around, and asks,"Can we give you a ride?" As soon Johan said that, Bayard angrily flew onto a tree branch.

Savina comments,"I don't think your pinto likes me very much."

Johan then says,"Bayard? Oh, no, don't be silly! He'd be more than happy to-" Suddenly, an apple falls on his head and when he looks up, Bayard starts acting innocent.

Savina then said,"I'll be alright, I'm a big, tough girl. I even tie my own sandals and everything." So she starts walking away and says,"Bye, bye, Wonderboy."

Johan quietly said,"Bye." Hefty started growling again as Johan continued,"She's...something. Isn't she, Hefty."

"Yeah, oh, yeah, she's really something. A real pain in the smurf!" shouted Hefty, before climbing on Johan,"Earth to John! Come in John! Come in John! We got a job to smurf, remember?" He gets Johan into Bayard and adds,"Thebes is still smurfin'"

Johan sighs, saying,"I know."

Savina watched from a distance before walking into the scary, dark part of the woods, she sees a gopher and a rabbit.

"Aw...how cute. A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park."

The rabbit, offended, yells,"Who you calling a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny!" And the gopher says, "And I'm his gopher!" And they reveal themselves to be Scruple and Azrael.

"I thought I smelled a rat" she said as smoke wrapped her and she heard someone call her name. When she turned around and saw who it was, displeased, she said,"Speak of the devil."

It was Gargamel, lord of the dead.

"Savina, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut, Savina. What exactly happened here? I thought you gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian less."

Savina then said,"I gave it my best shot but, he made me an offer I had to refuse."

"Fine," said Gargamel,"So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna two on. Give that your best shot."

"Look, it isn't my fault," complained Savina,"It was this Wonderboy, Johan."

Gargamel's eyes lit up.

"Johan? Why does that name ring a bell?" asked Azrael.

"I don't know. Maybe, we owe him money?"

Gargamel angrily asked Savina,"What was that name again?"

"Johan. He comes on with this innocent farm boy routine but I could see through that in a peloponnesian minute."

Scruple then asked,"Wait, wasn't Johan the name of that kid, we were suppose to-?" He got cut off by Azrael shouting,"Oh, my gods!" They try to run away but Gargamel grabs them by the tail.

"So, you took care of him. Dead as a doornail, weren't those your exact words?"

Scruple then said,"This might be different Johan." And Azrael adds,"Yeah, Johan is very popular name." But their master starts choking them.

"Yeah, remember, a few years ago, every other boy was Frank and girls were all named Lucille," Scruple managed to say.

"I'm about to rearrange the Cosmos," starts Gargamel, very angry,"And the one schlemiel who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!"

Scruple then said,"Wait! Wait, we can still cut in his waltzing."

Azrael adds,"Yeah, we made him mortal. That's a good thing, didn't we?"

Gargamel thinks about it, saying,"Fortunately, for the three of you, we still h ave time to correct this rather egregious over-sight and this time, no foul- ups."

* * *

**First I wanna say: Real smooth, Johan.**

**So, what do you think of Savina in this?**

**As, for Frank and Lucille, I just didn't feel like using Jason and Brittany.**

**Well, can't think of what to say so: Good night, folks!**


	7. Zero to Hero

**Okay, chapter 7! Sorry about the delay, I got BAD food poisoning. But, I'm better. So, back to work. Work as in this. I also got Epic Mickey.**

**Story belongs to Disney**

**Characters belong to Peyo.**

**OCs belong to me**

* * *

So Johan, Hefty and Bayard show up in Thebes but they didn't get a warm welcome. Then Savina showed up saying something some kids needing help. So, Johan lifts a boulder to free the two boys. They seemed thankful, but they were really Scruple and Azrael. So. it was a trap. There was a hydra in there!

So, Johan battles it. At first, it was like a super, epic Olympic fail. Johan actually got eaten. But, "luckily" he had his sword with him. He sliced the hydra's neck and escaped. But it grew more heads. So, Johan kept on slicing but it got to the point where Hefty had to yell at him to stop. Because there were a lot of heads. At one point, the hydra grabs Johan but as it tried to eat him again, Johan punches the side of the cliff and causes boulders to rain down on them. Everyone thinks Johan as dead, even Gargamel. And then, the hydra's claw started opening, revealing Johan, alive and well. Everyone just stared at him for a second, then started cheering. Gargamel was angry while Savina was actually impressed. People from the crowd carried Johan as Hefty shouted praises.

BACK IN THE MUSEUM!

Verdi then said,"From that day on, our boy Johan could do no wrong. He was so hot, stream looked cool."

_Bless my soul_  
_John was on a roll_  
_Person of the week in ev'ry Greek opinion poll_  
_What a pro_  
_John could stop a show_  
_Point him at a monster and you're talking S.R.O._  
_He was a no one_  
_A zero, zero_  
_Now he's a honcho_  
_He's a hero_  
_Here was a kid with his act down pat_

_From zero to hero_  
_In no time flat_  
_Zero to hero_  
_Just like that_  
_When he smiled_  
_The girls went wild with_  
_"ooh"s and "aah"s_  
_And they slapped his face_  
_On ev'ry vase_  
_on ev'ry "vase"_

_From appearance fees and royalties_  
_Our John had cash to burn_  
_Now nouveau riche and famous_  
_He could tell you_  
_What's a Grecian urn!_

_Say amen_  
_There he goes again_  
_Sweet and undefeated_  
_And an awesome 10 for 10_  
_Folks lined up_  
_Just to watch him flex_  
_And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs_

_Johnnie, he comes he sees, he conquers_  
_Honey, the crowds were going bonkers_  
_He showed the moxie, brains, and spunk_  
_From zero to hero_  
_A major hunk_  
_Zero to hero_  
_And who'd have thunk?_

_Who put the "glad" in "gladiator"?_  
_Johan!_  
_Whose daring deeds are great theater?_  
_Johan!_  
_Is he bold?_  
_No one braver_  
_Is he sweet?_  
_Our favourite flavor_

_Johan_  
_Johan_  
_Johan_  
_Johan_  
_Johan_

_Bless my soul_  
_John was on a roll_  
_Undefeated_  
_Riding high_  
_And the nicest guy_  
_Not conceited_

_He was a nothin'_  
_A zero, zero_  
_Now he's a honcho_  
_He's our hero_  
_He hit the heights at breakneck speed_

_From zero to hero_  
_John is a hero_  
_Now he's a hero_

_Yes indeed!_

BACK IN ANCIENT GREECE!

Gargamel was very, very pissed. So pissed that he was destroying Johan's merchandise.

"Pull!"

Savina casually says,"Nice shooting."

"I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I got at him and it doesn't even," complained Gargamel before noticing Scruple's sandals.

"What are _those_?"

Scruple, nervously replied,"I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing."

"I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke and you are wearing his merchandise!" Gargamel was about to do something to Scruple until Azrael interrupts by slurping his energy drink, which had Johan's face on it.

"Heh...heh. Thirsty?"

Gargamel wants to kill them.

Savina then said,"Looks like your game is over. Wonderboy is hitting every curve you throw at him.

"Oh yeah," Gargamel says, watching her,"I wonder if maybe I haven't been throwing the right curves at him, Savina, my sweet."

"Don't even go there."

Gargamel keeps going with,""See, he's gotta have a weakness, because everybody's got a weakness, I mean for what, Pandora, it was the box thing, for the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay? We simply need to find out Wonderboy's."

Savina then said,"I've done my part. Get your little imps."

Gargamel explains, "They couldn't handle him as a baby. I need someone who can... handle him as a man."

"Hey, I've sworn off man-handling."

Gargamel then says, "Well, you know, that's good because that's what got you into the jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend's life. And how does this creep thank you? By running off with some babe. He hurt you real bad, didn't he, Savina?"

Savina, about to cry, says,"Look, I've learned my lesson."

"Which is exactly why I got a feelin' you're gonna leap at my new offer. You give me the key to bringing down Wonder-breath and I give you the thing that you crave most in the entire cosmos" He says, before leaning toward her and whispering in her ear, "Your freedom." It caused her to drop the vase she holding.

* * *

**Okay, I finally updated. What? Blame that waffle I ate, my back hurting, the internet (I can't focus online) and Epic Mickey.**

**I know this is very half-assed but whatever, at least, I updated.**

**If you're wondering who Savina's ex is, it's Prince What-his-face, the guy she married in the show.**

**To make up for this chapter, I'm working on the next one immediately.**


	8. I Would Never Ever Hurt You

**Okay, chapter 8! Sorry about the last chapter, hope this makes up for it. Tonight, we got a ****special guest star, Peyo himself.**

**Characters...and Peyo belong to Peyo while the story belongs to Disney, enjoy.**

* * *

"On your left is Johan's villa," says a tour guide as a group of fan-girls led by a pair of blonde twins,"Next stop is the Pecs-and-Flex Gift shop where you can pick up the great hero's 30 minute workout scroll 'Buns of Bronze.' Meanwhile Johan was getting his portrait painted by the Great artist, Peyo as Hefty goes over stuff.

"At 1:00, you got a meeting with King Turgon. He's a problem with his stables. I'd advise you not to smurf your new sandals."

"Hefty?" asks Johan.

Peyo then yelled at him.

"I told you! Don't move!" Which freaked Johan back into his pose.

Hefty continues,"At 2:00, you got smurf with the D.G.R., the Daughters of the Greek Revolution."

So Johan tries again,"Hefty?"

But, Hefty continues to ignore Johan,"At 3:00, you gotta smurf a girdle from some Amazons."

Johan had enough.

"Hefty, what's the point?"

**Diva tantrum!**

Which pissed Peyo a lot, so he shouted, "That's it!" and ruined the portrait.

**Maybe that's why Peyo quit doing Johan and Peewit stuff.**

Hefty then said," Keep your smurf on, pal," but Peyo threw his paints at Hefty, making him look like a clown. To Johan, he says,"What do mean 'what's the smurf?', You wanna smurf to Olympus, don't ya?"

Johan discards the lion skin that he was wearing and says,"Yeah, but this stuff doesn't seem to get me anywhere."

Hefty wipes the paint off his face and says,"You can't give up now. I smurfing on you."

"I gave this everything I've had."

Hefty then tells him,"Listen to me, kid. I smurfed 'em all. And I am tellin' you - and this is the honest-to-Rex truth, you got somethin' I never seen before."

"Really?" asked Johan, now smiling.

Hefty continues, "I can feel it right down to these stubby smurf legs of mine. There is nothin' you can't do, kid."

And that's when the fan-girls show up.

"It's him!"

Hefty tries to get them away from Johan but it didn't work.

"Hey! Watch it! Watch-!"

One girl shouted,"I touched his elbow!"

Another girl shouted,"I got his sweatband!"

The girls started stepping on Johan as he shouted,"Hefty, help!"

Hefty tells him,"Okay, Escape Plan Beta.

"Gotcha."

Hefty then blew into his pan pipe to distract the girls.

"Hey! Where is he?" the girls ask.

"There he goes! On the veranda!" shouts Hefty as the girls listen. Hefty laughs evilly and follows them. Savina closes the door and walks over and notices that Johan is hiding behind a curtain with his toes.

**Adventure ho? Sorry, I like making Nostalgia Critic references.**

"Let's see what could be behind curtain number one!" she says as she pulls the curtains away, revealing Johan.

"Savina!" Johan cries out in surprise.

"It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed," said Savina.

Johan then tells her,"Gee, I-i-it's great to see you. I-I-I missed you."

Savina then jumps onto the couch and looks at one of the vases with Johan's face on it and says,"So, this is what heroes do on their days off."

"I'm no hero."

Savina then said,"Sure you are. Everybody in Grease thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita."

Johan chuckled and said,"I know. It's crazy you know, I can't go anywhere without being mobbed, I mean-"

Savina then said,"Ah, you sound like you could use a break. Think your nanny smurf would berserk if you played hooky this afternoon."

"Oh gee. I-I don't know, uh, Hefty's got the rest of the day pretty much booked."

"Ah, Hefty, Smefty… Just follow me. Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall and we're gone," said Savina, finally convincing Johan. A few hours, they go walking around a garden.

"Wow, what a day! First, that restaurant by the bay. And then that- that play, that- that Oedipus thing. Man, I thought I had problems."

Savina notices that two birds turn into Scruple and Azrael.

Azrael says,"Psst! Quit foolin' around!"

"Yeah! Get the goods, sister!" added Scruple, before Johan noticed.

"I didn't know playing hooky could be so much fun," Johan tells Savina.

Savina says,"Neither, did I."

"Thanks, Savina."

"Don't thank me just yet," said Savina and thinking quickly, she 'falls' into Johan's arm,"Oh..."

"Oops, careful."

"Sorry, weak ankles," she explains.

"Oh, yeah? Maybe, you should sit down for a while," Johan says, carrying her to a bench and sitting down.

Savina asks,"So...uh, do you have any problems like...," she then lifted her foot by Johan's face,"this."

"Uh..."

"Weak ankles, I mean," continued Savina.

Johan nervously said,"Oh. Uh... no, not really."

Savina starts moving closer and closer to him and said,"No weaknesses, whatsoever? No trick knee."

"Uh-" Johan starts but then, Savina places her hand on his knee.

"Ruptured...disks?" Savina got so close to Johan that she could kiss him. It was making Johan nervous.

"No. I'm-I'm afraid, I'm uh...fit as a fiddle," Johan says, before getting up.

"Wonderboy, you are perfect."

"Thanks," said Johan as he skipped a stone in a fountain and accidentally breaks off the arms off a statue of Smurfette. "Whoops."

Savina giggles and says,"It looks better that way." They looked at it again and she says,"No, it really does."

Then, they see a shooting star and Johan says,"You know, when I was kid, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else."

"You wanted to be petty and dishonest?" asked Savina.

"Everybody's not like that."

"Yes, they are," Savina insisted.

"You're not like that," said Johan.

"How do you know what I'm like?" asked Savina.

Johan answered,"All I know is…You're the most amazing person with...weak ankles I've ever met." Savina backs into a small statue of Snappy as he said that and he continued,"Savina, when I'm with you, I don't feel so...alone."

Savina then said,"Sometimes, it's better to be alone," walking away.

"What do you mean?" asked Johan.

Johan then walked up to Savina and said,"Savina, I would never ever hurt you."

Savina then said,"And I don't wanna hurt you, so...," as she said this, she and Johan kept getting closer and closer but she continued,"Let's both do ourselves a favor and.. stop this... um.. before... we-" When they were about to kiss, there was a bright light that interrupted them. It was Hefty and Bayard whom were very pissed.

"Alright! Smurf it up! Smurf it up! Party's over!" shouted Hefty at them and to Johan specifically, he shouted,"I've been smurfin' all over this town!"

Savina then shouts,"Calm down, Pitufo! It was all my fault!"

"You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it unsmurfier," Hefty says to her and to Johan, he says, "And as for you, ya smurf, you're gonna smurf to the stadium and you're gonna be put through the smurf-out of your life! Now smurf on the horse."

"Okay, okay," Johan obeys.

Savina says to Johan,"I'm sorry."

"Ah, he'll get over it," Johan says as he picks a flower from a tree...by bending it and gave it to Savina, then he kissed her on the creek.

From Bayard, Hefty shouts,"Move! Move, move, move, move, move! Move!" So, Johan gets on him but he keeps looking at Savina and not where he's going, so Hefty shouts,"Whoo! Hey, watch it, watch it! Whoo! Watch it! Keep your smurfy eyes on the-" That's when he knocked off by a tree branch and no one noticed. Before passing out, he mumbles,"Next time, I smurf."

* * *

**So, what did you think? Was Peyo good or what? How about the fangirls? Or Savina? Or Johan? Hefty and Bayard? That tour guide we never hear about again?**

**Now, I'm gonna work on the next two chapters of Smurfy Human so, wish me luck. **

**And, I just got a copy of Wizard of Oz so...I CALL DOING A SMURF PARODY OF IT! I called it. So, yeah.**


	9. I Won't Say I'm in Love

**Chapter 9! WE GOT A SONG! And it's one of my favorites! Yay! This is so gonna be short. Enjoy!**

**Savina, Sassette and Gargamel belong to Peyo...lucky.**

**The rest belong to me.**

**Story belong to Disney**

* * *

As Savina watched Johan leave on horseback, she sits down and smiles as she smells her flower but she notices and says to herself,"Oh, what's matter with me? You'd think a girl would learn." She get up and sings:

_If there's a prize for rotten judgement_  
_I guess I've already won that_  
_No man is worth the aggravation_  
_That's ancient history_  
_Been there, done that_

She then tries to discard the flower but the statues of the Muses come to life and catch it.

**Who'd you think you're kiddin'?**  
**He's the Earth and Heaven to ya**  
**Try to keep it hidden**  
**Honey, we can see right through ya**  
**Girl, you can't conceal it**  
**We know how you feel**  
**And who you're thinking o**f

_No chance, no way_  
_I won't say it, no, no_

**You swoon, you sigh,**  
**Why deny it? Uh-oh**

_It's too cliché_  
_I won't say I'm in love  
__I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
__It feels so good when you start out  
__My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"  
__Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
__Oooh_

**You keep on denying**  
**Who you are and how you're feeling**  
**Baby, we're not buying**  
**Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling  
****Face it like a grown-up  
****When you gonna own up  
****That you got, got, got it bad?**

_No chance, no way,_  
_I won't say it, no, no_

**Give up, give in**  
**Check the grin; you're in love**

_This scene won't play,_  
_I won't say I'm in love_

**You're doin' flips, read our lips:**  
**"You're in love"**

_You're way off base, I won't say it_  
_Get off my case, I won't say it_

**Girl, don't be proud**  
**It's ok you're in love**

_Ooh_  
_At least out loud_  
_I won't say I'm in love_

And just as Savina finally accepted the fact that she is, in fact, in love with Johan, Gargamel shows up.

"Hey, what's the buzz, huh, Savina? What is the weak link in Wonderboy's chain?"

Savina angrily yells,"Get yourself another girl! I'm through!"

Gargamel simplily says,"I'm sorry. Do you mind runnin' that by me again? I must have had a chunk of brimstone wedged in my ear or something."

"Then, read my lips! Forget it!"

Gargamel then asks,"Savina, Savina, Savina, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail?" Then he angrily answered his own question,"I OWN YOU!"

Hefty woke up around this time and touched his head,"Oh. I got another smurf here. That kid is doing laps for a month." After saying that, he noticed the voices and decided to easedrop.

It as Savina with Gargamel, even Hefty knew who he was.

"If I say, 'sing', you say, 'Hey, name that tune' If I say, 'I want Wonderboy's head on a platter' you say..."

Savina answered,"Medium or well-done."

Hefty then said to himself,"Oh, I knew that dame was trouble. This is gonna smurf the kid's heart." He then turned and ran away.

Then Savina said to Gargamel,"I'll work on that."

Gargamel simpily said,"I'm sorry. You hear that sound? That's the sound of your freedom fluttering out the window forever."

"I don't care, I'm not gonna help you hurt him."

Gargamel complains,"I can't believe you're getting so worked up about some guy."

Savina says,"This one is different. He's honest and-and he's sweet..."

"He's a guy," Gargamel reminds her.

"Oh, please!"

Savina went on and on. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

"HE'S A GUY!"

"Besides, oh Oneness, you can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he's gonna..."

Gargamel just tells her,"I think he does, Savina." Then he takes Savina's flower and burns, finishing,"I truly believe he does."

* * *

**CHAPTER 9! Sorry I'm late! This was not a good month for me. Hopefully, next September is better because my birthday's on Friday the 13, heh heh heh. But I'm back.**

**Love the song! Don't got much to say so see ya.**

**Next up, Hefty and Johan yelling at each other.**


	10. A Deal's a Deal

**Chapter 10! You know what that means? Johan and Hefty yelling at each other and, well...lets let Max Bialystock explain:**

_**Like Samson and Delilah  
Your love began to fade**_

**Thanks Bialy, well, on well the show!**

**Max Bialystock created by Mel Brooks**

**The characters that actually in the story belong to Peyo**

**Story belongs to Disney**

* * *

When Hefty got to the stadium, Johan was happily running, jumping and lots of excerises. Hefty, depressed, pets Bayard, who was eating, and walked towards Johan.

"Hey, Hefty! What happened to you?" Johan asked.

"Kid, we have to talk."

But, Johan said,"Oh, Hefty! I just had the greatest day of my life! I can't stop thinking about Savina! She's something else!"

But Hefty yells,"Kid! I'm tryin' to smurf to you! Wil ya smurf down and listen?"

Johan who as on a bar said,"Aw, how can I come down there when I'm feeling so up?"

**Panty shot! And its the rare MALE kind! Yes!**

Johan jumped and flew into the air. As Bayard looked up in the air, a pegasus mare that looked like something out of My Little Pony caught his attention. He follows her into a pen where she splits into two, freaking Bayard out, and turning into Azrael and Scruple.

"Gotcha!"

As Johan came back to Earth, Hefty shouted,"Very nice! What I'm trying to smurf is-"

"That if it wasn't for you, I never would have met her. Oh, I owe you big time, little guy, I do," Johan finished.

Then Hefty shouted,"Will ya smurf it off for a couple of smurfs?"

But Johan was in too good a mood, "Rule #38! Come on, Hefty, keep them up there, huh? Hefty, I got two words for you: Duck!"

Hefty then shouted,"Listen to me, John! She's-!"

Johan cut him off with,"A dream come true?"

"Uh...not exacty." answered Hefty.

"More beautiful than Smurfette?"

"Aside from that," said Hefty.

"The most wonderful-" started Johan before Hefty cut him off.

**serves him right**

"She's a SMURFIN' fraud! She's smurfin' ya for a sap!"

"Aw, come on Hefty, quit kidding around." said Johan because he thought his friend was joking.

"I'm not kidding around!"

Johan responded,"Look, I know you're upset about today but that's no reason to-"

Hefty then shouted,"Kid! You're missing the point!"

"The point is that I love her," was his answer.

"She don't love you!" shouted Hefty.

"You're crazy!" argued Johan.

But Hefty kept on going, "She's nothin' but a two-smurfin-"

Johan then shouted,"Stop it!"

"Unsmurfy, lyin', schemin'-!" Hefty had more to say but he pissed Johan so much that he slapped and Hefty went flyin' into some equipment.

Hefty and Johan himself were shocked at this.

"Hefty, I'm sorry,' Johan tried to apologize.

But Hefty said,"Okay. you don't wanna smurf the truth. Fine." He started to leave.

"Hefty, wait! Where are you going?" asked Johan.

"I'm smurfin' the first barge out of here. I'm goin' home," answered Hefty.

Johan angrily shouts,"Fine! Go! I don't need you!"**  
**

But before Hefty left, he stopped and said,"I thought you were gonna be an all-time champ, not an all-time chump."

After, he left, the lights went out. And when Johan looked up and Gargamel, he's thinking,'What the Hades?"

And Gargamel then says to him,"Geez Louise! What got his Smurf, huh? Name's Gargamel, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doin',

But Johan then said,"Now now, okay?"

But Gargamel kept on going,"Hey, hey, I only need a few seconds and I'm a fast talker, all right? See, I've got the major deal in the works, a real estate venture, if you will and John, you little devil you, may I call you John? You seem to be constantly getting in the way of it."

"You got the wrong guy," said Johan as he tried to walk away from the god.

"Hear me out, ya little-. Just hear me out, okay? So, I would be eternally grateful if you would just...take a day off from this hero business of yours. Geez, I mean, monsters, natural disasters. You wait a day, okay?"

But Johan says,"You're out of your mind."

And Gargamel said,"Not so fast because, ya see, I do have a little leverage...you might wanna know about." He then snapped his fingers and Savina appeared nearby.

"Savina!"

Savina ran towards them and shouts,"Don't listen, John!", before Gargamel made her disappear.

Johan then shouted,"Let her go!"

"Here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours, okay? Say, the next 24 hours and Savina, here, is free as a bird and safe from harm. We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say?"

Johan then asked,"People are get hurt, aren't they?"

"Nah! I mean, it's, you know, a possibility. It happens 'cause, you know, it's war, but what can I tell ya? Anyway, what do you owe these people, huh? Isn't Savina, "little smoochy face", isn't she more important than they are?" asked Gargamel.

"Stop it!" shouted Johan.

"Isn't she?!" asked Gargamel, louder.

"You have to swear she'll be safe from any harm."

"Fine, okay, I'll give you that one. Savina is safe, otherwise you get your strength right back, yadda-yadda, fine print, boilerplate, baboom. Okay? We're done, what do you say we shake on it?" Johan looks at Gargamel's hand before he adds,"Hey, I really don't have, like, time to bat this around. I'm kind of on a schedule here, I got plans for August. Okay? I need an answer, like, now. Going once, going twice."

Johan looks at Savina, who shakes quickly with horror but he says,"Alright!" and shakes his hand. Johan can feel his strength going away and ends up on his knees.

"You may feel just a little queasy, it's kinda natural. Maybe you should sit down!" shouted Gargamel, Before adding,"Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else. isn't it just peachy? Oh! You'll love this. One more thing." He turned to Savina and said, "Savina, babe, a deal's a deal. You're off the hook." To Johan, he said,"By the way, John, is she not, like, a fabulous little actress?"

Savina then shouted,"Stop it!" at Gargamel.

"What do you mean?" asked Johan.

"I mean little Savvy here was working for me all the time," answered Gargamel.

"You're lying!"

Azrael and Scruple as the two little kids then started harrassing him.

Gargamel then says to Savina,"Couldn't have done it without you, sugar, sweetheart, babe."

Savina shouts,"No! It's not like that! I didn't mean to- I couldn't- I'm so sorry."

Johan walks away from her as Scruple and Azrael sing,"Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!"

Gargamel, now in his chariot, says,"Well, gotta blaze. There's a while cosmos up there waiting for me with, hey, my name on it. So much for the preliminaries, and now on to the main event!" He and his two minions then leave the stadium.

The planets are now aligned.

* * *

**Chapter 10! It had to happen. Johan and Hefty arguing and him finding out about Savina.**

**Sorry it took so long, I've been on DeviantArt lately. I've got some stuff on there but I've been slackin' off lately.**

**Gargamel is evil. I can't believe I said that...Bye!**


	11. People Do Crazy Things for Love

**Chapter 11! Story's about to end. That sucks but it gotta end sometime. So lets get to it.**

**Story belongs to Disney**

**Characters belong to Peyo**

**NOTE: anyone know where I can watch Aladdin, like the full movie online? Is it on Youtube?**

* * *

Gargamel and his minions flew to an old anbanded spot where the Titans were. They were trapped by lightning but not any more.

"Brothers! Titans! Look at you in your prison! Who put you down there?"

They shouted,"Rex!"

"And now that I set you free, what is the first thing you are going to do?" asked Gargamel, freeing them.

"Destroy him!"

"Good answer," replies Gargamel.

As the titans walk, they said things like:

"Crush Rex."

"Freeze him."

"Melt Rex."

"Blow him away."

"Rex!"

"Uh, Guys? Olympus would be that way," Gargamel says, pointing at the opposite direction. The titans then go that way.

"Rex!"

"Freeze him."

Gargamel then stopped a titan, saying,"Hold it, Bright-eye,"

"Huh?"

"I have a special job for you, my optic friend."

At Olympus, Peewit was waiting for his friend, Jessica when he spots the titians. He then freaks out and flies to Rex and Jannie.

"My Lord and Lady, the Titans have escaped. And they're practically at our gates!"

Rex then shouted,"Sound the alarm! Launch an immediate counterattack! Go! Go!"

"Gone, geez." said Peewit, flying, blowing his horn. Everyone knew what the extremly bad playing meant. Time for battle. But Peewit went to find Jessica, who then called out to him.

"Peewit! Ya mind tieing my sandals?'

Uh...sure but why can't you?'

Jessica answered,"Well, I haven't worn sandals in years. Soooo..." She then says,"Thanks, Peewit." before getting up.

"Oh, _you're _not thinking about going in to battle, are you, Jess?"

Well, Uncle Rex promosed I could go and I've the right to defend my home!" explained Jessica, getting her bow and arrows, she then adds, "well, come on!"

But as the two got close to battle, they knew that they needed a miracle.

Down in Thebes, the Cyclops attacking the city as people run away screaming. It shouted,"Johan! Where are you!"

Johan walks toward it but Savina stops him.

"What are you doing? Without your strength, you'll be killed!"

But Johan simply says,"There are worse things," and walks towards the monster.

But Savina shouts,"Wait! Stop!"

Someguy shouts "Hey, look! It's Orson!"

"Thank the gods, we're saved!"

"So, you Mighty Orson," Cyclops askes Johan, then punches him and Johan goes flying.

Savina watching, hears Bayard who was tied up. She manages to calm him down enough to untie him by saying,"Easy, horse feathers. Whoa! Stop twitching, listen. Johan is in trouble," before adding,"We gotta find Hefty, he's the only one who can talk some sense into him." And they fly away into the night.

Back in Olympus, the battle went on and...the Titans were winning.

"Get back, blast you," Rex shouted as they smash the gates open.

"Ooh, chihuahua," commented Gargamel.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, a sailor yells,"Hurry up! We're shovin' off here!" at Hefty, who was going home when Savina and Bayard show up.

"Hefty! Johan needs your help!"

But he angrily askes, "What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?"

"He won't listen me!"

But Hefty just says,"Good! He's finally smurfed something."

"Look, I know what I did was wrong but this isn't about me, it's about him. If you don't help him now, Hefty, he'll die!"

Meanwhile in Olympus:

"I NEED MORE THUNDERBOLTS!" yelled Rex.

Peewit then says,"Uh, Handy has been captured, my Lord. Everyone's been captured!" Thats when Scruple and Azrael grab him. "Even, I've been captured!" and Peewit was taken away, he shouted,"Watch the hair, you freaks!"

Scruple then said,"Who you calling a freak, Freak?"

"You."

Azrael managed to knock Peewit out before anything happened.

The Titans then trap Rex using fire and ice.

Gargamel then shouts,"Rexie, I'm home!"

"Gargargel? You're behind this?"

"You are correct, sir!"

In Thebes:

Johan is getting the crud beat out of him as the Cyclops kicks him into a pillar. That when Hefty, Savina and Bayard showed up.

"Johan!" called Hefty.

Johan looks up and softy says,"Hefty"

"Come on, kid, come on, fight back. Come on, you can smurf this bum, This guy's a pushover, look at him."

But Johan says,"You were right all along, Hefty. Dreams are for rookies," looking at Savina, who looks guity.

"No, no, no, no, kid, smurfin' up is for rookies. I came back 'cause I'm not smurfin' on ya. I'm willing to smurf the distance, how 'bout you?"

That's when the Cyclops grabbed Johan, saying,"Me bite off head!" Johan then grabs a lit torch and throws it at the Cyclops's face. It dropped him and Johan tied it's legs together, tripping it and caused it to fall off a cliff. The pillar starts to fall but Johan didn't notice as he was catching his breath.

Savina then shouts,"Johan! Look out!" pushing him away but letting her get crushed.

"Savina! NO!"

Johan then manages to get it off her. Confused, he asked,"What's happening?"

"G-Gargamel's deal is broken. He promosed I woundn't get hurt," explained Savina.

"Savina, Why did you- I mean you didn't have to-"

Savina just says,"Look, people always do crazy things... when they're in love."

"Oh, Savina, I-I-"

Savina just asks,"Are you always this articulate? You haven't got much time. You can still stop Gargamel."

Hefty then says,"I'll watch over her, Kid."

"You're gonna be all right, I promise," says Johan to Savina, before going on Bayard, shouting,"Let's go Bayard!" and flies toward Olympus.

* * *

**Normally, it takes me a few days finish a chapter, Today I did most of this chapter. I really don't want to think about typing...which is what I'm doing. GREAT!**

**I like this part but cutting from Olympus to Thebes to Olympus to Thebes to Olympus to Thebes...drives me smurfy. Seriously!**

**Two chapters left.**

**If you excuse me, I'm going to pass out now and dream of mutated turtles that practice Ninjutsu. Good night. (passes out)**

**(wakes up) Oh, I'm serious about that Aladdin stuff. (Passes out again)**


	12. Yes, I Can

**Chapter 11! Story's about to end. That sucks but it gotta end sometime. So lets get to it.**

**Story belongs to Disney**

**Characters belong to Peyo**

**Thanks, flowerpower71 for the Aladdin thing!**

**On with the show!**

* * *

At Olympus, Gargamel and the Titans were winning! And the gods were all chained up! And Scruple and Azrael are loving every minute of it.

"Hup, two, three, four, come on, everybody! I can't hear you!"

And Rex was freazin' and burnin' up but managed to say to Gargamel,"I swear to you, Gargamel, when I get out of this—"

But Gargamel cut him off,saying,"I'm the one giving orders now, Bolt-boy. And I think I'm gonna like it here." Rex then was trapped in the solid rock. He congered up a drink and as he taking a sip and he hear a familiar voice shout,"Don't get too comfortable, Gargamel!"

The Gods then started cheering and Johan broke the chains, shouting,"This oughta even the odds!"

"Yeah, Johan! Thanks, man,"shouted both Jessica and Peewit, who then started beating up Scruple and Azrael.

Gargamel then yell,"Get them!" But the titan missed and Gargamel got covered in lava. He then complained, "Whoa! Hey! No! Get him, not me! Him! Follow the fingers! Him!" But another froze him.

Johan then freed his dad.

"Thank you, my boy.

Meanwhile, Bayard was chasing Scruple and Azael. One of them even shouted,"Nice horsey! My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you!" It didn't work.

Rex then has Handy make more lightningbolts and says to Johan,"Watch your dad work," and throws them at the titans, who are starting to go back.

"Guys, get your titanic rears in gears and kick some Olympian butt!" yells Gargamel when Bayard blows his hair out. "Whoa, is my hair out?" he askes as Bayard and some goddesses laugh at him.

Johan then catches the tornado-like titan and uses it suck up the other titans. He then threw them up into the air where they blew up.

Johan and Rex high-five each other as they cheered. But then, Gargamel ruins the moment saying, "Thanks a ton, Wonderboy. But at least I've got one swell consolation prize - a friend of yours who's dying to see me," as he left Olympus. As Johan and Bayard started to chase him, it dawned on Johan who Gargamel was talking about.

"Savina."

Back on Earth, Savina was in pain as she and Hefty were waiting for Johan. And the Fates were getting her thread of life ready slowly as if to taunt Johan.

As he flies down to Savina, Hogatha starts to ready the chippers and seconds before Johan could get to Savina, she cut her thead of life.

Savina is now offically dead.

"Savina?" asked Johan, only to have Hefty sadly shake his head. He then walked Savina's body, crying out, "Savina, no." And craidled her in his arms.

Hefty tries to console the young man by saying,"I'm sorry, kid. There's some things you just can't smurf."

Johan then looks up with an extremely determined look on his face, saying,"Yes, I can."

* * *

**Chapter 11! Before I continue, let me just say that when you see that look on Johan's face, you know shit's gonna down.**

**Anyway, so I was lazy but I would have gottten this in an hour ago if it weren't for internet.**

**So, Johan beat Gargamel but Savina died. I can't wait to see what happens next.**

**Next chapter is gonna be the last. Bye!**


	13. That's Hefty's Boy!

**Chapter 12! Last chapter! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo! I mean... um... oh, well? **

**So, for the last time or at least until the next parody,**

**most of characters belong to Peyo and others are mine**

**story is Disney's**

**Man, I want a Meg doll.**

* * *

In the Underworld, Gargamel was having a temper tantum, "We were so close! So close. We tripped the finish line. Why? Because our little nut, Savina, has to go all noble," the ground then started shaking and Cerberus, Gargamel's three headed dog break through the wall with Johan on the middle head.

He shouted,"Where's Savina?"

"Oh, look who's here. Wonderboy, you are too much," Gargamel say rather casually.

"Let her go."

Gargamel says,"Get a grip! Come here, come here. Let me show you around," so they walk around and Gargamel shows Johan a river,"Well, well. It's a small underworld after all, huh?"

Johan sees Savina and tries to reach out for her but as soon as his hands touched the water, they turned old but when he took them out, they turned back to normal.

"No, no, no. Mustn't touch. You see, Savina's running with a new crowd these days and not a very lively one, at that," said Gargamel.

Johan then said,"You like making deals. Take me in Savina's place."

Gargamel starts thinking about it, saying,"Oh, well, the son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death."

"Going once!"

"Hmmm... Is there a downside to this?" askes Gargamel, still thinking about it.

"Going twice!"

Gargamel finally says,"Okay, okay, okay, okay. You get her out, she goes, you stay." Johan then dived right into the river.

**I think the river is polluted, what do you** **think? **

Gargamel then says,"Oh, you know what slipped my mind? You'll be dead before you can get to her. That's not a problem, is it?" But Johan kept on swimming, slow growing older and older.

The fates were now getting Johan's thread ready.

By the time, Johan got close to Savina, he now had the body of an old man but he was determined to get to her.

Just before Hogatha could cut the thread, it started glowing and she went to cut it, it wouldn't.

Dame Barbara then complained,"What's matter with these scissors?"

"The thread won't cut!"

To Gargamel surprise, Johan then climbed out of the there with Savina's soul, glowing.

"This is- this is impossible! You, you, you can't be alive! You'd have to be a- a-"

"A god?" asked Scuple and Azrael.

Johan then for some reason, did an epic pose, then he started walking away.

Gargamel tried to stop by saying, "Johan, stop! You can't do this to me. You can't—" but Johan punched him in the face and kept walking away."Fine, okay, listen. Hah! Okay, well, I deserved that, John, John, John, can we talk? Y-Your dad, he's a fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him and he'd kinda blow this whole thing off, you know? Savina, Savina, talk to him, a little schmooze-" That pissed Johan so much that he punched Gargamel so hard that he went flying into the water, where the souls start to pull him down. He shouted,"Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get your slimy souls off me!" but they didn't.

Azrael said,"He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there."

But Scruple then told him,"You mean _if _he gets out of there."

"If! If is good," Azrael says as the two go back to watching Gargamel's suffering.

"I don't feel so good, I feel a little-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, Hefty and Bayard were still watching over Savina's body when Johan came back with her soul. The two noticed he was glowing but they didn't say anything. Johan then placed Savina's soul back into her body and it began to stir.

"Wonder boy... what- why did you-?"

Johan then said,"People always do crazy things...when they are in love."

The two lean for a kiss but Rex interupts with his lightning which made a cloud and Johan and Savina ride it to Olympus, where everything was back to normal. Hefty and Bayard also get there.

When Johan and Savina get off the cloud, the goddess Jessica shouted,"Three cheers for the Mighty Johan!" and Peewit started throwing flowers, shouting,"Yeah! Flowers for everybody!"

Johan then walks up the staircase to his parents.

Jannie then says,"Johan! We are so proud of you!", hugging him.

"Mother."

Rex then shouted,"Fine work, my boy! You've done it! You're a true hero."

"You were willing to give your life to rescue this young woman," said Jannie, gesturing to the young woman in the bottom of the staircase.

"For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. Now, at last, my son, you can come home," finished Rex and the gates of Olmypus open and the gods and goddesses start to crowd Johan, cheering.

But Savina is now all alone and she says,"Congratulations, Wonderboy, you'll make one heck of a god," starting to walk away.

Johan turned around to see her and was sadden by what he saw so he turned to his father and said,"Father, this is the moment I've always dreamed of, but-" that walked toward Savina and took her hand, continuing,"A life without Savina, even an immortal life, would be empty. I wish to stay on Earth with her."

Rex and Jannie look at each other, suprised but nod. Johan and Savina finally kiss as he turned back into a mortal as the gods and goddesses cheer.

When they stop, Peewit shouts,"Hit it ladies!" The Muses start singing:

_Gonna shout it from the mountaintops  
A star is born  
It's a time for pulling out the stops  
A star is born  
Honey, hit us with a hallelu'  
_

Smurfette then made out with Hefty

_The kid came shining through  
Girl, sing the song  
Come blow your horn  
A star is born_

Peewit was the keyboard until Sassette pushed him. He wasn't mad because he had a crush on her.**  
**

_He's a hero who can please the crowd_

In the crowd was an older Johnny, now called Jon with his wife, Brina, Peter and Gloria, now married and expecting, and Gerard, now a famous toymaker. They were cheering Johan on, along with the crowd.**  
**

_A star is born_  
_Come on everybody shout out loud_

Grace and Patrick, with now have a baby of their own named Blue reunite with Johan, who hugs them. Patrick laughed when he noticed the woman. Savina then pointed up and they noticed that Johan's got a constellation.

_A star is born_  
_Just remember in the darkest hour_  
_Within your heart's the power_  
_For making you_  
_A hero too_  
_So don't lose hope when you're forlorn_

A guy shouts,"That's Hefty's boy!" as Hefty sheds tears of joy and Johan, Savina and Bayard surround him.

_Just keep your eyes upon the skies_

_Every night a star is_  
_Right in sight a star is_  
_Burning bright a star is born_

_**Why end it now? I wanna hear more music!**_

_Like a beacon in the cold dark night  
A star is born  
Told ya everything would turn out right  
A star is born_  
_Just when everything was all at sea_  
_The boy made history_  
_The bottom line_  
_He sure can shine_  
_His rising sign is Capricorn_  
_He knew "how to"_  
_He had a clue_  
_Telling you a star is born_

_He's a hero who can please the crowd_  
_A star is born_  
_Come on everybody shout out loud_  
_A star is born_  
_Just remember in the darkest hour_  
_Within your heart's the power_  
_For making you_  
_A hero too_  
_So don't lose hope when you're forlorn_  
_Just keep your eyes upon the skies_

_Every night a star is_  
_Right in sight a star is_  
_Burning bright a star is born_

__**The End!**

* * *

**Last chapter! Gargamel got defeated! Johan ended up with Savina (sorry, JohanXOC fans.) And Hefty got his constellation thingy!**

**It was fun making this and I can't wait for the next one! It's another of my personal favorites! **

**It's Aladdin. **

**I can't wait to start work on it! Before I go, I have this to say:**

**_Thanks flowerpower71 and the others who supported this story  
for their dedication, ingenuity, and good humor.  
It's been a real slice._**

**Thanks for reading! Later!**


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